is it just in my head??

hi. long time no see...
yesterday i read my husband's message in his phone.. yes i know i'm nosy! it break my heart one of them said sometimes he envy with married couple that both are workers, they can fulfill their financial goal more quickly than he is and he accept this way as they were meant to be. he text-ted those to one of his in-laws.
what should i do?? do i suppose discuss this with him? do i suppose to get a job?

there were times that i said that i'd like to apply for jobs, but back then he said that i shouldn't do it. back then our financial wasn't as establish as right now.. we were really in a jam back than.. he said that he'd prefer i'd be taking care of our daughter and have less than we have more but our daughter was taken care of by a helper. his salary back than was 1/3 from what he got right now monthly. i think we were a whole lot more establish right now than ever.. but why did he said things like that..
his whole family going to thinks that i'm only a slacker, burden, free-loader, lazy etc. sometimes i was really wanted to get a job of my own. make  money on my own.. but i'm don't have the skills of marketing.. trust me.. i tried several times.. it doesn't suits me.. i'm just a so so sales person, yes i got bad personality, it take me a while to warm up to other people. i don't have the confidence to talk to others.
I thought about being an make up artist a lot.. but i don't have the money to take the course. and i can't take my daughter along with me,, since we don't have a full time helper.

maybe i'am scared of the big bad world.. it's been a while since i got my self a job.. i don't know if i still got it. my self esteem is at the lowest for as long as i lived. being a housewife sometimes really break my spirit.
but u know what would make it a whole lot better?? my daughter!! she's healthy, active, independent, happy, fun, and the sweetest kid in whole world.she doesn't have to act out to get her parent attention, she's more healthy than other kids that were taken care by helpers.

but why did he said something like that.. do you readers think that i should say things that bother my  mind. or should i keep this to my self??

wanita bekerja

sometimes i always envy to working women, punya karir, certain goal in life, ambition to move forward, punya penghasilan sendiri dan bisa spent it sesuka hati kita tanpa keterikatan beban moral. tapi kalau dipikir lagi apa aku se-egois itu, demi kesenangan sendiri aku nelantarin anak ku sendiri? apakah dengan alasan membantu suami, untuk bekal anak, ingin punya uang sendiri, atau apa pun lah cukup buat nitipin anak ke pembantu more than 12 hours a day.

few of my friend have to work, due to being single parents. it's very hard on them to leave their children into somebody else care. tapi kalo mereka gak kerja, dari mana mereka bisa bertahan hidup? banyak orang yg lebih beruntung di bandingkan dengan mereka, yg di karuniai suami yg bisa mencukupkan, bisa konsentrasi penuh mengurus anak, yg menjalankan bisnis dari rumah sambil mengurus rumah tangga. tapi menurut ku ada juga orang yg egois. tetap memaksakan untuk bekerja walaupun telah di cukupkan oleh suami..

bukannya saya menentang wanita bekerja, tapi tolong di tinjau lagi skala prioritas keperluan untuk apa anda bekerja. banyak kok wanita yg tetap berkarya walaupun titelnya adalah stay at home mom! banyak kok wanita yg tetap bisa punya penghasilan sendiri biarpun gak punya kantor di gedung bertingkat.

lucu deh, ada yg beralasan 'saya kerja demi anak' tapi anaknya di tinggal sama pembantu dan cuma bisa ngasih perhatian penuh hanya pas hari libur saja. apanya yg demi anak!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
a friend of mine said 'buat apa kerja mati2an sementara anaknya dirumah sakit2an mulu gara2 kurang perhatian, mendingan hidup sederhana tapi anak2 sehat & ceria. nothing more important than our children'
i say, i have to agree with him.

suka miris ngeliat anak kecil, sakit2an cuma di asuh sama asisten rumah tangga.

to working mothers.. tolong deh atur lagi prioritas hidup kalian. jangan sampe menyesal kemudian..

hi..
this in my second blog..
i really hoped that i can be consistent in this one..


sekarang ini my passion lagi bergerak kearah make up. i really like the transformation into different characters, innocent, elegant, fresh, glamorous, or anything you can possibly imagine. 
banyak orang yg bilang make up itu menipu, tapi menurut aku itu adalah usaha seseorang untuk tampil lebih baik. lebih enak di pandang lah. gak usah munafik lah kalo kita suka ngomongin orang lain behind their back, terutama soal penampilan, kucel, norak, gak matching, kayak pake topeng, muka berminyak dll.


there's nothing wrong wanted to feel good about your self. motto ku adalah 'Gak ada wanita jelek, yg ada wanita malas'. banyak yg beralasan keadaan ekonomi, masa sih?? banyak kok make up merk lokal yg murah (hindari make up palsu buatan cina yaa?? for your own good!!), gak usah semua di beli sekaligus,, cicil satu persatu. 


aku juga masih belajar soal make up. pengennya sih sekolah lagi, tapi si unyil kecil bernama unish gimana nasibnya?? mo di titipin sama siapa?? ada yg mo jagain anak kecil yg kayak ulet bulu??


kayaknya postingannya segini dulu... see you next time