hi. long time no see...
yesterday i read my husband's message in his phone.. yes i know i'm nosy! it break my heart one of them said sometimes he envy with married couple that both are workers, they can fulfill their financial goal more quickly than he is and he accept this way as they were meant to be. he text-ted those to one of his in-laws.
what should i do?? do i suppose discuss this with him? do i suppose to get a job?
there were times that i said that i'd like to apply for jobs, but back then he said that i shouldn't do it. back then our financial wasn't as establish as right now.. we were really in a jam back than.. he said that he'd prefer i'd be taking care of our daughter and have less than we have more but our daughter was taken care of by a helper. his salary back than was 1/3 from what he got right now monthly. i think we were a whole lot more establish right now than ever.. but why did he said things like that..
his whole family going to thinks that i'm only a slacker, burden, free-loader, lazy etc. sometimes i was really wanted to get a job of my own. make money on my own.. but i'm don't have the skills of marketing.. trust me.. i tried several times.. it doesn't suits me.. i'm just a so so sales person, yes i got bad personality, it take me a while to warm up to other people. i don't have the confidence to talk to others.
I thought about being an make up artist a lot.. but i don't have the money to take the course. and i can't take my daughter along with me,, since we don't have a full time helper.
maybe i'am scared of the big bad world.. it's been a while since i got my self a job.. i don't know if i still got it. my self esteem is at the lowest for as long as i lived. being a housewife sometimes really break my spirit.
but u know what would make it a whole lot better?? my daughter!! she's healthy, active, independent, happy, fun, and the sweetest kid in whole world.she doesn't have to act out to get her parent attention, she's more healthy than other kids that were taken care by helpers.
but why did he said something like that.. do you readers think that i should say things that bother my mind. or should i keep this to my self??
